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Q&A with Falia: Why Women and Guns Do Mix
By now, some might know her appearance better than her ideas. But that’s OK with Falia. Her goal is to help women who carry figure out what to wear.
Posted last week, her video about concealed carry clothing for women created quite a stir online because it featured her wearing holsters in different outfits (some leaving little to the imagination, as plenty of women’s clothing does).
The CCW advocate and blogger has set out to share information with other females. However, her video, which now has more than 3,000 views, received a lot more unwanted attention from the opposite sex.
Find out what she thinks about women, guns and her newfound YouTube popularity.
You clean houses for a living. Do you carry on the job?
Sometimes. It depends on the season (summer or winter), and also whether or not I will be cleaning the house alone or not. If someone is home while I’m cleaning, I usually lock my gun in my vehicle since I don’t want to advertise to my clients that I carry a gun, and it really becomes much more visible when I am crouching and bending a lot. If I know I will be cleaning at a house alone, I do tend to wear my inside-the-waistband (IWB) or outside-the-waistband (OWB) holster.
I also carry more while cleaning in the winter, since in the summer I wear shorts a lot, and I haven’t figured out a good shorts method of carry yet. It gets HOT cleaning in the summer, especially if people don’t have air conditioning in their home. I would REALLY like to carry more in the summer months, so I’m soon going to try out the Smart Carry Holster as a shorts option.
Are you still living in your van?
Technically, yes, but I’m not currently on the road/traveling to new places. So I sort of feel as though I’ve been “cheating,” if that makes any sense. I’ve been staying in a familiar area for quite a while now in order to have some steady work and save up some money. That means van life has been a lot easier lately than when I’m on the road in unfamiliar places.
Since I’ve got several friends in this area, I’ve had access to several different showering options and also consistent, safe places to park overnight. I’ve also currently got some space in a friend’s house where I’ve been storing my guns, survival preps and cleaning supplies, which is great because I hate leaving my guns in my vehicle.
Being on the road so much, it’s really hard owning so many guns. I need to eventually get my own piece of land/retreat with a secure storage unit of some kind to store my important stuff at while I’m traveling around. I’m often paranoid about my vehicle getting stolen or broken into.
How did you become interested in firearms and holsters?
I guess I first became interested in firearms because some of my guy friends were really into guns, and they made me kind of curious. I didn’t know anything about guns at first. I didn’t know that a 12-gauge was a shotgun; I didn’t know the difference between slugs or buckshot, or even what different size calibers there were for handguns.
I remember when I first got online and starting researching the basics. I Googled the difference between types of ammo (wadcutters, full-metal jackets, jacketed hollow points, etc.) and also the actual definition of a handgun, pistol, revolver and semi-automatic! I had no clue. The more I started learning, the more my curiosity turned into a feeling of necessity, like I needed to learn about guns and how to shoot in case of an emergency. I felt ignorant about guns and instead wanted to be an informed American citizen who could responsibly exercise her Second Amendment right to keep and bear firearms.
After I had learned a lot from online research and also my male friends, I felt such an urgency to take a CCW training course and get my concealed carry weapon permit while it was still legal to do so, because that right could get taken away from us at any time. Then after getting my CPL, I realized that there wasn’t much info online for women, helping with concealed carry options and such. That’s what compelled me to share what I’ve learned about guns and different holsters with other women!
Not many women carry, and I believe that women are the ones who need to carry the most…
Why do you think women are afraid of guns?
Well, it’s probably because they don’t know much about them and aren’t familiar with them. Guns can be extremely loud. The recoil can be shocking if you aren’t prepared for it. Many guys pressure their wives or girlfriends to shoot, and then shooting seems more scary and forced instead of being a desire to learn to shoot. Guns are powerful weapons that can kill people, and that can be something to fear!
The thing is, guns don’t kill people. People kill people. Saying that “guns kill people” is like saying that “matches commit arson.” A gun is a tool that be used to harm, but it is also a tool that can be used to protect. Once a woman is taught the proper way to handle a gun and check to see if it is unloaded, I think she loses a lot of the fear that she had previously.
With knowledge of gun use, my fear turned more into a respect for the gun. The fundamental National Rifle Association rules for safe gun handling: Always keep the gun pointed in safe direction, always keep your finger off the trigger until ready to shoot, and always keep the gun unloaded until ready to use.
Also, even if a woman isn’t necessarily afraid of guns, I just don’t think women are naturally interested in guns because guns tend to be more a “guy thing.” Not many girls round up their girlfriends and say: “Hey, let’s go out shooting!” Even when I get together with my girlfriends, we tend to go shopping or pamper ourselves with foot soaks and facial masks. I think if a woman doesn’t have a male friend who is interested in guns, it can be hard for her to get interested in guns on her own. It sure does help to have someone who can teach you about firearms and let you shoot some of their guns to start out.
Hopefully more women start to recognize that guns are not something to fear, and a higher rate of gun ownership leads to a safer society. A quote comes to mind by Robert Heinlein: “An armed society is a polite society.” If you are a beginner, remember to start out with a small caliber (22) and work your way up from there as you get more comfortable and want to practice with more power. You don’t want to start out with a caliber that might be too powerful for you (45), because that might cause you to develop a bad flinching habit.
Why is concealed carry important to you?
Concealed carry is important to me because I value my life and the lives of others. I want to be able to defend myself, my friends, my family and even strangers, if I ever need to. Hopefully I will never have to use my gun, but I would rather carry it and never need it, than need it and not have it.
This question reminds me of something I just read in my American Rifleman magazine: “When seconds count, the police are only minutes away.” I do not want to put my life in the hands of police. I want to always be ready and prepared for the worst, and I want others to be prepared, too.
What is your ideal carry outfit?
Teva Mush flip-flops, comfy American Eagle jeans, a black leather belt, IWB Crossbreed Supertuck holster, a tank top, and a zip-up hoodie over top. I am all about comfort and relaxation. :-)
What do you have to say to those who have commented on your videos, objectifying you rather than seeing your videos as informative?
You know, it really does get extremely tiring and frustrating for me. There really are a lot of perverts out there who comment. They just “turn off the sound” while watching my videos, along with the many sexist men who don’t even believe that women should carry guns. I’ve gotten comments such as “Why don’t you just find yourself a man if you want protection,” “You should just stick to baking,” “Women can’t drive and sure as hell can’t shoot,” and “Women should be homemakers, not gun carriers.”
It makes me sick, sad, and angry, all at the same time! I don’t know how their minds got to be so warped, but we are living in an age where I believe that women have more of a reason to conceal-carry guns than men do! That is why I have started making gun-related videos: To help other women who want to conceal carry, but struggle with similar wardrobe problems, so that they feel more comfortable in their ability to carry their firearm with them.
Men should not have a reason to watch my videos more than once, and believe me, if I could make my videos available to ONLY WOMEN, I would! It sure would save me a lot of headache. That is just not feasible, and I feel that this is a topic that the Internet (and society) is lacking in regards to providing helpful female information. For the most part, women’s clothing is completely dysfunctional/impractical when it comes to concealing a gun. Our clothes are cute, yes, but our pockets are all extremely tiny! Flattering pants are fitted, leaving not much room to hide a gun, and often our pants are lacking belt-loops. Skinny jeans are back in style. Dresses and skirts pose a challenge. And what about in the summer? Many girls like shorts and tank tops and don’t want to look frumpy and out of place, especially for the sole purpose of carrying a gun that will probably never get used.
Obviously men are going to find my videos on YouTube, and many of them will gawk, stare, hit replay, or make lewd and sexist remarks. As much as I would love to whack those guys over the head with a frying pan to knock some sense into them, I will just continue to bite my tongue and hit “delete.” As hard as they can be to ignore, I know it’s not even worth it to give them my time of day because those types of men will never understand that Second Amendment applies to both men and women. They won’t ever care about the challenges that women face in the world of concealed carry.
Thankfully, I do get enough positive feedback (from both men and women) that I know my videos are helping some other people out there, and that is what makes it worthwhile for me to leave them up on YouTube. I do wish that other women would post videos showing how they conceal carry, too, since I am not that thrilled to be the only girl out there with this type of video. Maybe if more women started posting concealed-carry videos, then more men would accept the fact that women and guns DO mix. :).
(13) Readers Comments
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Mj
I am a woman and I found your video to be EXTREMELY helpful and it inspired me to carry my gun rather than leave it home. I am not ashamed of being a women and am not big on pink cameo gear and you showed that there was a way to dress like a girl and still carry. You did a fabulous job teaching and I for one am grateful. I can’t wait to shop for my holster.
SCB
Well to the commenter tbird7695, I would say that the best way to introduce your wife to concealed carry, is to have her talk to a woman. If she is not interested though, she doesn’t have to be. Maybe she is on the assumption, that you have guns, and can protect her, and that she doesn’t travel any place unsafe, so she is just fine with you having the guns. A lot of women are that way. It goes with the mentality that men protect women I guess. Honestly that may just be one reason. I think women aren’t afraid of guns. I think they are uncertain. To say women are afraid of guns, is a bit unfair. Fear, and uncertainty are two different things. I though, well I’m different. I’ve wanted to own a gun as long as I’ve wanted to own a truck. Yet I still go shopping and like to dress up, and get facials. Its good to pamper yourself. I think if women can have guns, then men can go shopping and pamper themselves (honestly, sigh), but to get back to my original comment.
I recommend The Cornered Cat for all to read, both men and women. As for those chauvinists who comment. They are exactly the type of men, who may end up with a bullet in them, for harassing and assaulting a woman.
tbird7694
I wish my wife would watch your videos – you are correct about pressure from husbands/boyfriends but I can’t figure out any other way to expose her to and demonstrate to her the need to learn defensive pistolcraft. Your holster reviews are spot on, and I recently acquired two Remora holsters based on your recommendation and absolutely love them! Keep it up!
Lamont Dearing
I just wanted to take time to say thank you. I have seen several of your videos and think they are wonderful. My wife and I just completed the procedures of getting our concealed carry permit and you have a wonderful wealth of information about subjects we are interested in knowing about. I nearly purchased a S&W P&M but pulled out at the last minute and bought a Springfield HDm Compact. So far I really enjoy the way it performs but now have the challance to try and conceal it. My wife has a new Kel Tek PF9 and she shoots very well with it. She is also in the process of trying to find the right holster to use. You offer a great deal of information to ladies (and gents) and I want you to know we do appreciated your time and effort. Please keep up the great work.
Kim Randall
Falia,
I am so sorry and at the same time embarrassed by the responses you get from some male readers that are derogatory in nature. I have recently discovered many of your You-Tube posts and think they are absolutely fantastic! I have sent links from several to female acquaintances and friends because the information is so good and presented in such a professional, yet personable manner. I have learned things as well. Especially on some of your concealed holster posts, since I’m a rather slender build and have a hard time concealing anything under my clothing. My wife has recently begun to show an interest in guns, and I am trying very hard to help her learn gradually and at her own pace so as not to push her into anything and turn her off to it. I am still wading through many of your posts and everything I have seen thus far is absolutely stunning in the simplicity and thoughtfulness with which you present. We live in northern WI, so much of your survival gear and BOB posts and links are of particular interest to me. Please keep up the excellent work for the majority who may not comment at all, but still benefit from your knowledge. Thank you again for your willingness to share and your talented manner in which you do it.
Jerry Busby
I’m a retired fire chief after 32 years and I’m 100% disabled so they tell me and at times I feel it. I served in the Army as a gunner and Medic yes Medic I loved keeping them alive more than shooting them. Along with all I have done in my life I also drove truck Over the Road, they said it was a job but I just loved traveling all over and seeing what a beautiful Country we have. I watched your video on Concealed Carry only ONCE because I want my wife to watch it so she can have some ideals wear to carry. You are a cute young lady and do a great job of explaining wear and how is the best way to carry. I was an investigator for fire and Haz-Mat so I carried on and off duty for over 30+ years and by the grace of God never had to use it but kept trained to protect folks and myself if needed. As I said I was a gunner in the Army and had to do what I had to do to protect my men but I found saving lives was more rewarding and that’s what got me into the fire service. I have seen many things change though in the past few years and I find my self back into the protection mode and staying alive mode again. Well I can ramble if not careful, I do want to say you are doing a great job with your videos and I love reading your Blog….I don’t understand how they work but would love to follow your adventures so add me to your list if possible, God Bless and be safe Jerry and Jeannie Busby
Ed
Outstanding work.. from a man! I don’t think you should fall in the mindset that you need to be scantily clothed in the summer because that’s the trend. You can dress comfortably, stylishly without the “trampiness” of current fashion. I have a 6 year old daughter, and I hate this fashion trend myself. The previous statements obviously aren’t meant for you, but for other females who may be reading. You’re too independent and self-reliant to rely on other people’s perception of you to determine your self-worth. That being said, may I leave you with my opinion on the matter of concealed carry? You may take it or leave it.
You should always carry a firearm, unless it is specifically prohibited by law or by the property owner. Here in Washington state, you can be arrested for trespassing if you bring a firearm onto a private property that advertises that it is a weapons free zone. I totally agree with your thought process about concealed carry, meaning exactly that. Concealed. I, like you, do not want to “frighten the horses” as Massad Ayoob would say. I pick my wardrobe, not too follow the current trend, but to perform a function. The wardrobe and firearm are considered my personal defense “system.” I have a pepper spray that is much more readily available as it is my first line of defense on the use of force continuum.
I also noticed that you chose the M&P with the thumb safety for the additional layer of safety. I also think along the same lines. That’s why my primary year-round concealed carry weapon is a Smith and Wesson Bodyguard 380 in a IWB holster. It’s got a thumb safety so I can carry it with one in the chamber and worry less about a Negligent Discharge. I have so much to lose if there is an ND with a bad outcome, as my field of work requires a spotless record and occasionally a security clearance. It also gives me a few extra moments for action should the unthinkable happen, where I get disarmed and the weapon is pointed in my direction. It’s got a very thin profile so it is concealable even in summer attire. I’ve gotten hugs from friends who noticed my pepper spray and not my firearm!
Lastly, I have to apologize for the trolls who give us males a bad name. It is because of them that it is even more imperative for women to learn how to defend themselves. Don’t let those idiots anger you for they are but cowards. They have to insult using pseudonyms. If they had any balls, they would use their real name and location.
Keep up the good work and I’ll be sending my female friends over to your videos to do a bit of learning. Oh yeah, don’t forget to take some Krav Maga classes and practice those skills too.
Safe travels.
Brittany
I for one absolutely am looking up to you!
This has become a new sought after passion for me and trying to find ways to conceal carry has been made so much easier now thanks to you! I bought my first pistol 2 days ago and want more!
Thanks for all you are sharing! I try to share all that you have to offer with my female friends who I know own guns but never carry.
We are all grateful for you here in South East GA!
Jeff Myers
Great job! I give CPL classes, and feel women take it more seriously than men, and they don’t have that “I already know” attitude. I’m sorry there are men (don’t know what else to call them) that still have the cave man mentality.
I had no idea what to tell ladies in my class about carry options, buy a purse etc. I just didn’t know a lot of these types would work or were out there.
Thanks for the help! And please, keep up the great work!
Eric Licker
Very impressive information and research. You are very well prepared and more thought out than most people ever dreamed of being. If any men are making comments that are less than impressed with you, they are obviously jealous of your ability to do what they either cannot do, or are scared of trying. Keep up the info, it is nice to see women carrying, and I really appreciate your ideals.
GOOD LUCK
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Joey Bennett
I think it is great that more women are start to carry guns and learn how to use them. Knowing how to use a gun properly is a great skill and a great way to defend yourself.
Wolf N.
Outstanding Q & A. An outstanding video regarding CC for women.
I think that more women should view your videos and read your ideas on concealed carry. I even picked some techniques from your presentation. Great job!!! I hope you continue to build on your web based campaign.